just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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