yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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