it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
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I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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