i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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