He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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