My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize