Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
