I like to think it a success when the cops are called
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize