so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.