rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
