Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
