I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
