I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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