you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
