i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He felt like a one man threesome
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
