she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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