you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm drive I can fine osifer
lets start a swedish sibling band together
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
