yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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