butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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