Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
North Korea, Best Korea!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?