You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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