brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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