Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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