i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
