i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
