wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
