awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
nutella sex= disaster
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
