i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
