I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm sobbing to NWA
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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