shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i believe in u and ur pee
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
