I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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