was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
