Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
