.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
