You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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