Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
