So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
