girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize