God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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