I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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