thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
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He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
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Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.