Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.