Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
3pm strippers are depressing
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.