Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.