Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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