Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
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In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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