Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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