my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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