is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
