My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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