your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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