just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
