I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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