his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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