Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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