wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
