Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose