I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
