just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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