"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
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i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
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I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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