Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
