idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
