walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
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She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
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most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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