We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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