he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
